Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Back in Black!

Ok so maybe I am just back in a black t-shirt, but none the less I am back in black!

Lots of new around the home front... Cannot wait to share but right now is just not the time.

I'm sorry that I disappeared. I know I was rude to hide... I was rude to not tell you... One day I hope I can disclose just what I was going through but right now isn't the time either.

This is next weekend I am going to be heading to Columbus with a group of girlfriends. I am super excited. I love Women of Faith. I love the fellowship and the praise and the worship and the meeting of Jesus and living for him.

Last year, Steven Curtis Chapman was there. It was hard to listen to him. They had just lost Maria less than a year before and his heart and story were so touching. It was great.

I'm not real sure about this line-up this year but a couple things that I do know...
  1. My friend Nancy and I will be driving and NOT listening to Veggie Tales.
  2. I will not only be eating one but FOUR meals without grimy, cute little fingers touching all over it.
  3. My food will most probably be hot!
  4. I will be able to use the bathroom without little fingers running between the bottom of the door and the top of the carpet, all the while saying "Mama, whatcha doing?"
  5. Unless there are some unforeseen problems, I will only have to wake up and dress myself!
I am sure that there are many more but those are enough to make my jump up and down and shout for joy! What about you? What are some of your favorite things to do when you get away for some Mama Time? Wanna see some more things people love? Here you go!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Random Thoughts About Infertility/Miscarriage/Wanting a Large Family

Where have I been you might ask... Well go ahead and ask!

I have been in a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad attitude of late. I have been hiding. I barely want to be around myself so therefore, I conclude that others probably don't want to listen to me either. But who knows, maybe there is someone who loves a negative, irritated friend? If that's you, please forgive my absence! :)

Anyway, just a quick disclaimer. If you are looking for a light-hearted, go-lucky post, this is not the one today. Stop reading and come back with the RSS feeder indicates I have written a new post..

As many of you know, I recently had my 7th miscarriage. Now please don't start the "oh my, how terrible thoughts." I know this sounds cold, but I am getting used to it. Doesn't that sound cold and horrible?

Well here are some of my random thoughts about it:
  • I know that God can do amazing things.. Just take a look at two of my best friends, Courtney and Misty. It has been incredible to see the Lord work and now they are both pregnant. Just looking at them I should know He can make it happen.
  • I was talking to my friend Tanya a couple of nights ago and she gave me a new prespective. It sounds a little morbid and wacked but it gives me a little comfort. The Lord has given me the special job of being a vessel to get seven precious babies straight to Him. They are in the best hands of all.
  • I keep thinking if I could just be pregnant one more time and relish in being pregnant, I would never ask for anything. As I was sitting here thinking about that, I began to think about how I should be relishing and delighting in Lincoln and Dylan because they could be my last. Why am I wasting the precious seasons of the boy's lives wishing for another? Pretty messed up Jodi, pretty messed up.
  • If  two boys is the number for our family, I will do the best by them I can.
  • One day, after reciting and telling myself all these things, I will believe them whole heartedly and not question the Lord's plan for my family. One day I pray that my will lines up with His. Until then, I will just fake it until I make it.
"There is hope for your future" declares the LORD.
Jeremiah 31:17