Friday, November 12, 2010


Are you in a rut when it comes to Christmas cards? Have NO idea how you are going to afford getting out nice and attractive Christmas pictures/cards to your friends and family?

I know that I am VERY particular about our Christmas cards. We have done it all- cards, photos and family letters. It all leaves me feeling exhausted. I was especially exhausted and weary about the whole Christmas card tradition this year due to being so pregnant. How will I get Christmas cards or letters or photos out at all with having a small baby?

Enter Shutterfly!

Over at Fancy Farm, my good friend, Courtney, blogged about this opportunity. Not only are there GREAT cards for what I think are reasonably priced, there is a chance to get 50 cards free! Did you hear me?! I said 50 cards free!! I don't know about you, but free gets me all excited!

We are planning on using shutterfly for not only our Holiday cards but also birth announcements. I really liked this card because with having a baby, I'm not sure that we will get them out in time for Christmas. I also liked it because there are three places for photos on the right  (my soon to be three little angels) and then a larger photo on left in which we can try to squeeze in a family shot or a picture of all three boys together.

While I really like the options of photo gifts and calendars (and I wish I had the time or energy to have a party and send out these), the idea of choosing speical Holiday gift tags is just too cute to me!

What do you think? Out of all those neat little options, what would you choose?! I am starting to second guess my decision. Some of those photo gifts are too cute- especially this ornament!

If you are interested in your 50 FREE cards from Shutterfly and you are a blogger, take a gander here!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Beginning of a Spiritual Battle

The beginning of my spiritual battle. I feel spiritual warfare waging in my heart and my mind but I have vowed to conquer it; to reach for and grasp the Light.

I began reading The Prayer That Changes Everything by Stormie O'Martian. Now to be honest, in two days, I made it through the introduction. It seems to be one of those books that you have to take in bites and then take a moment to digest.

Stormie begans by explaining her reasoning for her books and then she moves into her personal life. While all of that was intriguing to me, the part that hit me the most was her recent story.

Stormie then enters into writing about a recent time in her life in which she felt lost. She felt abandoned. She felt all the feelings I have been feeling.

She was speaking to me.

She was speaking to me because it was revealed to me that I am normal. Spiritual warfare is a normal part of many Christian's walks.

There were times when Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was tempted. Someone who was PERFECT fought off evil spirits and the devil.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” 

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.”

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.”

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
- Matthew 4:1-11

If Jesus went through this, why should I expect to be exempt? The devil is smart. He is cunning. He knows when I am at my weakest and he knows when to pounce. The stronger my faith became, the more I became whole in my relationship with Jesus, the more I felt unworthy. The more the devil edged his way into my mind and my heart.

I have been feeling so guilty because there are no outward storms in my life. I am blessed. I should quit whining but I have been doing an injustice to what is really going on inside of me. I might not be enduring a storm in life, but I am enduring a storm in my faith. A spiritual battle. Spirital warfare. This is the fight of my life. The fight of my first love, Jesus. I am not going to give in easily. I am going to fight. Please join me as I continue to journey. I look forward to sharing this with you.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Searching, Starving, Stagnant, and Scared...

Where have you been, Jodi?

Where has your emotional health and mind been, Jodi?

What is one of your greatest talents, Jodi?

I am so glad y'all asked. I've been formulating this post for a while. Rolling ideas, thoughts and worries in my mind. What will y'all think of me? Will you boo me out of the blogging county? Will you leave dirty comments and make me feel little and insignficant? Just what should I share? How honest should I be?

I am still dealing with all of these thoughts in my mind even as I type... I am worried of being judged and hurt. I am worried that if I reveal that I am one messed up human, you won't want to visit anymore.

Where have I been? In my home, taking care of my husband and kids, talking to my friends and pretending everything is honky dorrie in my faith, life and mind. Honestly, nothing can be further from the truth. I am the queen of allowing people to see what I want them to see and what I think they want to see.

First and foremost, my faith... What faith? I am grasping for any straw I can possibly grab and if I achieve in grabbing one, they slip out of my hand and fall to the floor. Who is my God? A superior authority who can and will choose to squish you at any time. Is that the right attitude? No way! And the worst part is I know in my head that I want to gain a full understanding of the loving Father so many people in my life know. But there comes in, how do I get there? How do I achieve that full understanding? How can I praise Him for who He is in the bad times, when I cannot seem to find Him or grab on in the good? I feel like I am starving for His presence yet have NO idea where to begin to look. The Bible no longer seeems like a wealth of knowledge but a continual reminder that I am unworthy. I am so stagnant, I even want to spit me out. Where do I begin? How do I find my way? How can I find Him?

My marriage... I am only going to say this once... Poor Andy. It seems when I am pregnant, the feelings and thoughts and happening of my pregnancy with Dylan come to a head. It is almost like I am waiting to go into the Dr.'s office and meet a lady that was too impregnanted by my husband. Andy has and would NEVER do anything but it HAS happened to me before. I have dreams where Andy abandons me, saying I am not worthy. That I deserve all that comes to me. I am NOTHING but a whore and a loser. Now I know that all of those things are not true and Andy would never say any of them or even think them, but I can feel them in the back of my mind. I can feel them in my attitude every time I reply to him. I feel the tension I feel when he comes home. I hate it. I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to just love myself and the parts of the past that made me who I am.

These are just a couple of the biggies going on. I am searching, starving, stagnant and scared. I am trying. I am praying. I am reading. I am hoping.

I started a book today by Stormie O'Martin. So far, I totally identify and have felt a connect with her and this book. I think I am going to try to do a chapter every few days to make myself really connect and learn from this book. Today, I barely made it through the intro without crying so I am not making any promises but I will say that I will try my best. I will read, learn and then come and open my heart to many strangers who have somehow become the only few that I can open up to. I appreciate you. I really do. I am sorry it took this long to come out of the dark "closet" I was living in.

I don't know how but I will get past this. I will embrace God's love and I will find out what it truly is. This and this only is the most important step in my journey. There is NO use in healthy eating or frugal living when there are such more important things to grow in.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Menu Plan

Howdy y'all! Am I back up and running? Why yes for right now, I can say that I am... Am I going to make any promises or such? Nope, but I can tell you that when I get all the thoughts in my head together, YOU will be the first to know!

I am going to start out on an easy note and post the menu plan for the week! I am just going to begin with main meals and then we'll take it from there.

Sunday, November 7
Meeting the in-laws for lunch

Monday, November 8
Courtney's Multitude of Yummy Meatloaf, green beans, corn

Tuesday, November 9
Chicken and broccoli alfredo, salad

Wednesday, November 10
Pizza, carrot sticks, vegetable dip

Thursday, November 11
Chicken quesadillas, salsa, rice

Friday, November 12
Cheesy sausage stromboli, fruit

Saturday, November 13
Chicken and dumplings, green beans, biscuits, gravy