The beginning of my spiritual battle. I feel spiritual warfare waging in my heart and my mind but I have vowed to conquer it; to reach for and grasp the Light.
I began reading The Prayer That Changes Everything by Stormie O'Martian. Now to be honest, in two days, I made it through the introduction. It seems to be one of those books that you have to take in bites and then take a moment to digest.
Stormie begans by explaining her reasoning for her books and then she moves into her personal life. While all of that was intriguing to me, the part that hit me the most was her recent story.
Stormie then enters into writing about a recent time in her life in which she felt lost. She felt abandoned. She felt all the feelings I have been feeling.
She was speaking to me.
She was speaking to me because it was revealed to me that I am normal. Spiritual warfare is a normal part of many Christian's walks.
There were times when Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was tempted. Someone who was PERFECT fought off evil spirits and the devil.
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:
‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.”
Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.”
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.”
Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
- Matthew 4:1-11
If Jesus went through this, why should I expect to be exempt? The devil is smart. He is cunning. He knows when I am at my weakest and he knows when to pounce. The stronger my faith became, the more I became whole in my relationship with Jesus, the more I felt unworthy. The more the devil edged his way into my mind and my heart.
I have been feeling so guilty because there are no outward storms in my life. I am blessed. I should quit whining but I have been doing an injustice to what is really going on inside of me. I might not be enduring a storm in life, but I am enduring a storm in my faith. A spiritual battle. Spirital warfare. This is the fight of my life. The fight of my first love, Jesus. I am not going to give in easily. I am going to fight. Please join me as I continue to journey. I look forward to sharing this with you.