Let's just get this out of the way... I am twenty-eight years old. I feel much, much older but I guess in the whole picture of life, I'm not really that old. Maybe it was just the toll three boys took on my womb. I swear I had soccer players before they were born.
With feeling old and being a mama of young chickens, the feeling that this is all life is and that there isn't time for your dreams to unfold engulfs your mind. That is the battle in which has been raging at the forefront of my mind. Add that to the fact that I have no self-confidence and I feel people will laugh at it, and I'm stuck. I'm in this limbo of wanting a dream, yearning actually and the feeling that I don't know where to begin and it's silly. I feel like I have multiple personalities. The devil versus angel on the shoulder. The same old debate. I know others have it. I know I cannot be the only one...
It is time to take a stand. A time to hold fast to the promises of God. It is time to put on my big girl (hmm....) panties and take hold of my life. I am tired of living life, scratch that riding the wave of life being scared.
With much prayer and a passionate heart, I am embarking on a new journey. A journey in which I will finish and see to the end with the Lord's help. A journey that will redefine me and refine my family. One in which we will grow.
My dream involves bringing all my passions to one place... A farm. A piece of land. A place where my heart can soar and peace engulfs me.
I yearn to live off the land. Be self-sufficient (to a point.). Raise our kids along side of my husband. Be free of debt and worry about money. Give continually. Share my passion of raw nourishing foods. Teach others. Raise free range beef. Work hard and love harder. Be content and peaceful. Look at the windows and see the hard work.
And mostly... I want to share my journey. I want to be a testimony to God's enduring promises. I want the Lord to use me. I want to live daily in His grace and love and share it with others.
So... With that being said... I am back. I am going to write. I am going to share the ups and downs of our journey. I am going to share and pray that this blog portrays me... A Jesus lovin', help-meet to Andy, mother to three amazing boys 'burb girl and her journey to the land. The land she feels in her heart she can find peace. Will you journey with me? Will you pray for me? Will you laugh with me through the ups and downs - mistakes and blessings? Will you lovingly hold me accountable? Will you DARE to dream with me?
Once again, pull up a chair. I know you're tired. Open your eyes to the possibilities of your dreams becoming reality. And will you dream big with me?