A Conversation With my Savior

Colleen and I

Good afternoon y'all!! I just wanted to stop in and share my heart with you.

Our women's group at church has been low on attendance- lower than I can ever remember! I am NOT a key element in the ministry team, but I try to help out as I can and my mom is actually the Yoda of the group (sorry mom if you're reading this! That's all I can think of! :)). We have a women's retreat coming up and everyone seems to be full of excuses (I'm not saying all of them are, but some just are! Does that make sense? haha! I'm a nut!) BUT, I totally understand the fears of leaving your family overnight.

So I have been fighting the Devil and thank goodness, God intervened during my quiet time a couple of days ago so here is the email that I sent all my good church friend ladies. I hope it is a blessing to you and helps you let go a little.. My mom's email asked everyone what they were waiting for (when it came to signing up for the retreat). So here goes:

Ladies- I can tell you what I was waiting for... I was waiting for a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, and a taxi to come so I could have everything in place to go to the retreat.

In my morning quiet time a few days ago, God was at work in my heart. This is what he had to say: "Dearest Daughter- I know you will always have an excuse. You will always have something else to do. You will always be scared to leave your family and home for a few hours due to being scared it will fall apart without you. Dear Daughter, don't you know that you need to seek refreshment and Me to be able to do all those things? To find the woman I want you to be.'Come to me all you weary and I will give you rest.' Don't you seek, sweet one, that this is your chance? This is your chance to be Jodi, Daughter of the King as well as mom, wife, homemaker, teacher, taxi driver, and cook. And sometimes Sweet Daughter, you just need to let things fall apart so I can work through them. Sometimes your husbands need to rely on me to help them while your gone and they will grow from it. Sweet daughter I am always there to help. I will keep watch.

Jodi, I know your scared. I know you are frightened of opening yourself up and making new friends. Meeting people that will want to get to know, but Daughter, these woman are your companions, wisdom givers, and friends. Use them. Love them. Open up to them. Life is scary and I know you feel like if you get close to anyone, they will leave you again. Daughter, you must quit hiding behind that. Go, show them, and let them show you my Will and my Love. Daughter, let someone else take over for an evening, let Me penetrate into your being and let others love you. Daughter, let go of the excuses and the reasons. They will be there when you get home."

Friends, I wanted to share this because I know just like me, everyone else is busy, but please, please, please let the Lord use you and refresh you. Come and let your weary spirit take a break. Rest in allowing God to take care of the rest. It WILL all be there when you get home.

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As I type this in my blog, I feel there is more I need to say. There is more pain. There are more reasons behind all this. I feel like I am stepping around them because I wish they weren't true. I wish that I was stronger and I wish that I wasn't allowing the Devil to work in this but the truth is, I have let him work and I have not glorified God through this situation. Here the story goes, as well as the tears...

About three years ago, a great woman who wasn't always perfect, but always a good friend, got diagnosed with cancer. She was my mom's best friend. She was always apart of everything. She was especially pivotal in the women's ministry at our church.

When she died about a year ago, everything seemed to standstill. Everyone grieved hard. My family especially (my 4 yo son nick-named his blanket "queen". Her name is Collen. He feels her presence when he has his blanket.)

I can only speak for myself and my opinion, but I feel like I, as well as others, have not used her life as the joy and glory to God that it should be used as. I believe we let the Devil take hold of our grief and we haven't been able to move past it.

Our women's ministry needs to be rejuvenated with joy, contentment and love of the Almighty. We need to invite Him back in and find peace in knowing that HE knew what he was doing, even if we don't understand.

So please, dear friends, be in prayer as I push to help and revamp our women's ministries. I have felt God's calling and I am ready to go forth.

Any ideas for me? Please let me know!!