First off, Hi, I'm Jodi Davis and deep down, I'm a people pleaser, but I have strong opinions. Sometimes I have a hard time keeping my opinions to myself. I wait and wait and wait until I just cannot hold it anymore, blow up and then I have a pity party in the fact that I made someone else unhappy and not like me.
This is a dangerous combo!
I have really been struggling with this blog and with myself. I am not happy with either. I go other people blogs and have two things happen: 1) Why aren't this many people interested in what I have to say? and 2)Why don't I have my life this together?
I don't want to be like that anymore.
So after a lot of praying and thinking, I have decided. This is going to be a different kind of blog and I'm going to be a different kind of person...
See, for a long time, I have kept my interests and my real opinions to myself. My opinions and my interests aren't always what I'd like to think of as normal (Truly, what is normal?). They aren't exactly what I've grown up knowing, not what my parents liked or thought. I am finding that a lot of the opinions I thought I had were based on things I heard and thought were right growing up. A lot of my opinions and interests are what I thought the Church and Church people thought and liked.
See, it took a long time to make my faith my own. To choose to love the Lord and trust in Him for myself. I just always acted like the Christian I thought everyone else was. I never made my own commitments.
It is high time I allow myself to feel, love, and believe as I, Jodi, feel that I should. Not others.
For a long time now, I would become very interested in something, but when I'd look around at other's in my life and hear their opinions of it, I would drop it like a hot potato. To others it seemed like I was very flakey, but to me, it felt like an internal struggle. One, that cost me a lot of great opportunities.
I am not making those mistakes a second time. I am going to embrace the thoughts and interests that God has given me and run with them. I am going to tell people about them and I am going to be proud that I have them. No more hiding for me anymore...