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Monday, November 9, 2009

the birth story of dylan james: part 1

I have tried time and time again to put Dylan's birth story into printed words. Time and time again, the words just were not there.

I started this blog as a journal of sorts that hopefully one day my children, their spouses, and their children can read and learn from. My heart yearns that one day when my children jump on my blog to see what good ol' mom had to say, they will see just how much their birth and their lives changed me and made me the best God intended...

For a long time, I struggled with what I would tell Dylan when he asked me about his coming into the world. I had a picture perfect scenario of how babies were made, with love of course and when this was not the case with Dylan's conception, I had a hard time.

Let me go back into the story... It was a year after I graduated high school. I was committing sins that I had never dreamed that I could commit... I would "never be one of those..." and there I was one of those. I had put the God I had grown up hearing about on the back burner and as he wait there patiently, I was experimenting and soul searching. Hanging out with people that my mother begged me to stay away from, people I know that I should not be allowing into my life.

I was hanging out with some friends and wanted to go home. No one else was willing to leave. It was not long until I found out why I should never leave a place such as this alone at night.

A few weeks later, I was craving KFC and after sucking down my food and throwing it up everywhere, I knew there was nothing left to do but go and buy a pregnancy test and wade into the unknown. And as you all know the answer the test showed two little blue lines...

I didn't know what to do. I ran... I hid... I acted like nothing had changed... For two days. After those two days, I knew there was nothing else to do. I told my uncle and he came over while I told my parents. It was the the second hardest thing I ever had to do. And then came the first... The decision to become the person I knew this little blessing in me deserved...

Stay tuned for the next installment of dylan james' birth story.

1 comment:

carlisle clan conversation... said...

What to put yourself out there Jodi...patiently waiting the next installment!