Thursday, November 5, 2009

Think For Myself Thursday: My Role

*Disclaimer: I know that not all people will agree with my views. These are my views. I am a messenger of what I believe God wants me to share. Therefore, opinions and comments are welcome but please in a loving manner.*
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; ... Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [Can’t submit to husband if don’t submit to Christ.] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:18, 22-24
This might surprise you (okay... please just appease me!:)), but submission is not my strong suit. I am not a woman that takes being told what to do well. In fact, if you tell me to do something in just the wrong way, I will probably do the other just in spite of you. I'm not proud of it, but I have proclaimed honesty on my blog.
God has called women to be helpmeets to their husbands, submit, and be a loving mother. God calls us not only to submit to our husbands but to submit to Him first. Without God, it is almost impossible to submit to our husbands (or at least I know I struggle). If you put God in your front most focus, loving your husband and submitting comes easier.
Now when people used to say the word submitting, I would picture this "seen and not heard woman" and I would just roll my eyes. After much prayer and seeking God, I had a new prospective on submitting. Now when I think of submitting, I think of placing Andy's needs and desires in front of my own.
Now, I'm going to be honest, I struggle with this a lot. In this post, I talk about how I struggle with it being all about me. My friend and fellow only child, Rick, calls it "only child syndrome".
Putting Andy's desires and needs in front of mine is really hard. So many times, I just want a break from the boys by the time he gets home. I "drop and run". Here's the kids- BYE! I have really been working on taking care of the boys all evening.
Another issue I struggle with is intimacy. I so often find myself exhausted and after a long day not wanting to be touched or messed with. I find myself often just wanting to "be". Then, I go to bed feeling guilty and Andy feeling unloved and unappreciated. I hate that often I am so wrapped up in how I feel that I often forget Andy's needs.
Now I have to be honest, it's funny to me that when I seek after the Lord and His will for my marriage and myself, I feel more willing and closer to Andy. Often times in life I find that I search and search for answers and happiness in other things and after I have exhausted all over options, I seek the Lord. He fills me up immediately! So why, I must ask, is the thing that I am searching for always the last resort?
Okay... Removing on with my rant... I know that sometimes, it is necessary for the mother of the home to work also. But, after a long of struggling with being a wife, mother and homemaker, I have found that my place is in the home, taking care of the blessings the Lord has given me. I know that that isn't always the opinion of everyone else but it's mine. I feel the Lord has called me to be where I am.
I find it funny that a lot of women go back to work when their kids get back in school. They think that it is vital for them to be home when their children are young. I have a different opinion on that. I think that it is vital for mother's to be home when their adolescents and teens are coming home. Trying to get through high school was one of my hardest times. I do not want my children to be coming home to an empty house. I want to be there to answer questions, wiping tears, and giving out hugs and kisses.
In my opinion, women should be a huge part of the homemaking tasks. In my opinion, the majority of the cooking and cleaning falls to the mother/wife in the home. My husband goes to a long day of work. Working hard to bring home money and take care of our family, I feel that I should not ask a lot of him when he gets home. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a foot bath ready for him when he gets home but I try to have the things he likes in place (a semi-clean home, dinner on the way, the kids and I dressed and looking presentable). I cannot imagine working a long day at work and then coming home and Andy still be in his PJ's and the kids not taken care of. I would lose my mind! Now don't get me wrong, there are some days when we are sick and no one wants to get dressed and we just lay on the couch. Those days are few and far between!
So if y'all are still with me after this long post, I appreciate it and I hope you see some of my points. AND I hope you're not mad at me!


carlisle clan conversation... said...

Love it & amen! I'm totally for hearing the Lord, if you need to work outside the home. BUT, I would do anything to do it all over again and to have stayed home when my babies (8 & 10) were little. I am blessed to be home now & possible appreciated all the more. Thanks for the honesty!

Jhona O. said...

I completely agree with you!!! I learned these lessons almost eight years ago and I believe it saved my new marriage from complete ruin. Learning our role as a Wife and Mama are so important to the health and management of our marriage and homes. I think this goes for sweet mamas that have to work outside of the home too. I know I am blessed to be able to stay home with my kids and would not have it any other way. I also appreciate the double duty that working moms have. Whether by their choice or not. Anyway, thanks for this post and I'm sure that the Lord will use it for His Glory:) I hope you have a really great day!

Janet said...

Here to agree. When I got married I bristled at the idea of submitting to the husband. I was raised to be strong and independent (and I still am. It's just framed differently.) I didn't understand what submission really meant. Over the years God has taught me about submitting to both Him and my husband; what it really means.It's not always easy but it is so freeing.